And they’re all like
Then the teacher spots you and is staring at you like
And everyone else is staring at you like
(Source: , via fat-is-pain)
I’m getting married in June. Literally like 2 months away. I have gained so much fucking weight. I look like a huge fat cow. I work out twice a day I dont eat any carbs, I dont drink soda. All I want is to be skinny and pretty in front of all those people in that wedding dress. I’m fasting today. and for the rest of the days till the wedding. Fuck you Fat. Im over it.
So is it just me or…
Like, is it wrong of me to be annoyed at the fact that when I tell my boyfriend I love him publicly on the internet and he NEVER comments back. It makes me feel as if he is ashamed to let other people know he loves me too…or maybe just certain people, like his ex girlfriend. Hes on her fucking cell phone plan, and is scared to make her mad so she doesn’t shut his phone off, and he doesn’t want to lose his number because he’s had it for forever. It bugs the fuck out of me. I don’t like it at all man, it just kinda makes me feel like there are underlying issues that he’s not telling me. Like I dunno…. maybe he’s still in love with her. Or he doesn’t want her to know he’s moved on, and then it makes me wonder has he in fact moved on…? Or deep down is he not over it. It scares me. I don’t want to get hurt. I have doubts now. And it sucks. Cuz I was so sure about his feelings towards me…and well now…I just don’t know. Love is so complicated. And it just sucks. Im torn now. And I wonder if im jumping into something that im so sure about, and if he’s going to end up hurting me. Maybe I just over think things. Who knows. This is my super fucked up retarted life. Yayy me.
Just life in general.
How do you make time go by faster? Should I sleep the days away. Not caring about the countless hours that have gone by while I was in dream land. This is impossible for me to do. But I wish I could sometimes. Oh well. MY WEEKEND. Friday was awesome. Started off with me and my mama visiting my sister and niece and just spending some good ol family time. Got home got invited to a party got ready kissed my kiddo goodnight and headed out to pick up my girl beth <3 and run this fucking town. Got to the party and got greeted with a biig I miss you hug from my besty tom :) immediately started drinking. Alycia showed up, another besty, and we started in on the drinking games. Or should I say we started getting shitfaced. The game turned into a sing along to some of the best god damn songs in this world. Drunken singing with a room full of people is the shit. Haven’t tried it? Well maybe you should next time. Ur night will be epic. took Bethany home first and then myself next. Got home mom was still awake, drank another beer while I convinced her to buy me some food. Then sang to my mom in the car at the top of my lungs.
My mom told me I should be drunk all the time cuz im hilarious. Ha :)
Finally passed out drunk curled up next to my mama watching moulin rouge. Epic night :)
SATURDAY NIGHT Slept most of the day. Waited around to hear from my boyfriend, which has still yet to happen. Im not really sure what’s going on with him, his phones been off since yesterday. Long distance relationships suck. Its not like him to not talk to me at least once a day. Maybe his phones just dead and he’s out having fun, or maybe its broken, or maybe he got hurt, or he’s in jail. I just don’t know! And its freaking me out honestly. Bleh. Anyway back to Saturday night. I didn’t think id end up doing anything until my old friend Jessica Suttles text me and asked me to come over and have some beers. So of course I obliged. Got there around 10PM started drinking right away and then the singing started. Now I can honestly say I can sing. And Jessica she has the voice of a sultry jazz singer. Her lows and my highs are like heaven to anyones ears who is lucky enough to hear us together. Sounds conceded but I give not the tiniest of fucks. Im confident. Anyway did that till about 3 in the in the morning. Then sold my half a pack of cigarettes to a dude for ten bucks. PROFIT! Went home passed out.
Now Sundays here. And I wish it was over. Or I wish id hear from aaron. Hopefully he’s okay. I guess ill keep everyone posted. Blah Sunday.
So, my life has been generally drama free since I broke up with my horrible ex finance of 4 years. And I never actually realized how unhappy I was with our relationship until now. Every day I think of things that just im shocked that I put up with it for as long as I did. And well anyway, im now with a wonderful man who makes me feel like im the only woman in the world just by the way he looks at me. Im lucky :) anyway the whole point of this post…people, er chicks rather…are fucking nuts. My new beau’s ex girlfriend is the most immature thing I have ever had the chance of coming into contact with. She wants to talk shit about me, say he’s dating a hoe now. Haha she doesn’t know me tho, and has never met me. It just makes me laugh. Why are people so insane? I mean yea, im nuts when pushed. But generally I don’t go around making things up just to talk. It makes no sense. Haha oh well. My man loves me :) he’s traveling all the way from California to Oklahoma on oct 28th to spend a whole week with me for my birthday :) Totally the luckiest girl in the world :)
Oh my god. Maury is on. Why are there so many retarted people in the world. And so many women not knowing who their baby daddy’s are. Damn bitch, if you really can’t keep track of who you slept with and when then jesus fucking christ you just are a plain ol slut. Why do you feel the need to bring yer trailer trash drama to television? So everyone can laugh at you? The world is so pathetic.
Random thought/rant/whatever the fuck you wanna call it.
I feel compelled to tell the world that im a lucky little bitch. How simply amazing is it that I have a man who loves me for all the little weird things that im scared of. That doesn’t care that I make odd faces all the time. Who is willing to be with me even tho we are thousands of miles away. That right there is just unreal to me. And I trust him. He trusts me too. Im 100% in love with my man. And well he loves me too. Its nuts. Our story is funny. I’ve known him since I was 13. We always had a weird vibe we hooked up a few times, never ever went further then kissing and such. And then randomly a few months ago I went back home to California and we met up and it has been nothing short of amazing since then. It started off us hanging out while I was there and then when I went home it turned into us talking every day and really really getting to know eachother, even though we have known eachother for a super long time. We used to hangout everyday. But he was always someone else’s. And now he’s mine. All mine. And I am a very very lucky girl :) im gonna marry him one day im sure of it. Everything about our relationship just feels different. And so right. This is exactly what’s supposed to be. And its exciting. Oh and yea we’re not going to be a long distance thing for forever. right now we’re gonna visit eachother as much as possible, and then in about 9 months ill be living with him back home in California :) I can’t wait. Be jealous bitches ;)